A situation in which a difficult choice has to be made between two or more alternatives.
It’s becoming kind of a dilemma, these weekly posts.
Back
when all of this started, there was, in my mind, very good reason to proceed
with blogging away during treatment. I mean, I have a great job in an
interesting environment where I probably deal with 100 to 200 interactions
every day. Inevitably, because I have been fortunate to get to know so many
wonderful people, there was concern for my situation. I had no idea what to
expect and no idea how I might be able to communicate on a one-to-one basis
during treatment.
I had no desire to
deal with repetition. That is, answering the same questions a whole bunch of
times. I saw it potentially as tiring, and maybe frustrating, and I also
wondered how much interest I would have in talking about the issues I would be
experiencing. I can assure you all it’s much different to pound away at a
keyboard about all of this stuff.
“Blogging” (what a
goofy term, eh?) enabled me to choose when and what I would speak about, a
measure of control I was certainly going to retain. It allowed me to share
experiences and to applaud people who really went out of their way to help Gay
and me. It also enabled me to bitch and moan when I chose to do so.
There were also
times when I chose to reflect on things I experienced many years ago, some
positives, and some things that perhaps had been sources of irritation. I find
it interesting how we become a “sum of our experiences” in many ways. Sometimes
it’s nice to marvel at successes. At other times, it’s easy to look back at frustrations
or “unfinished business”.
I guess it would be
safe to say that “It’s A Mental Game” became a multi-purpose deal!
Basically, the blog
has created an audience. Many folks have communicated with me during treatment
directly through the blog. These are the folks who understand the mechanics of
setting up a Google account, which enabled them to share comments that appeared
below my blog entries at times.
There are also
people who have followed along without supplying any of these comments. I know
they are out there because my family and friends have shared that certain
people are following. I have heard from folks I've never met, who have encountered cancer in many ways. I have heard from people that live in places i have never been to.
On one hand, I am glad this blog
has served so many purposes. On the other hand, I’m just unsure where to go from here.
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