Friday, March 1, 2013

A Little Uncertainty Here...

A situation in which a difficult choice has to be made between two or more alternatives.

It’s becoming kind of a dilemma, these weekly posts.

Back when all of this started, there was, in my mind, very good reason to proceed with blogging away during treatment. I mean, I have a great job in an interesting environment where I probably deal with 100 to 200 interactions every day. Inevitably, because I have been fortunate to get to know so many wonderful people, there was concern for my situation. I had no idea what to expect and no idea how I might be able to communicate on a one-to-one basis during treatment.

I had no desire to deal with repetition. That is, answering the same questions a whole bunch of times. I saw it potentially as tiring, and maybe frustrating, and I also wondered how much interest I would have in talking about the issues I would be experiencing. I can assure you all it’s much different to pound away at a keyboard about all of this stuff.

“Blogging” (what a goofy term, eh?) enabled me to choose when and what I would speak about, a measure of control I was certainly going to retain. It allowed me to share experiences and to applaud people who really went out of their way to help Gay and me. It also enabled me to bitch and moan when I chose to do so.

There were also times when I chose to reflect on things I experienced many years ago, some positives, and some things that perhaps had been sources of irritation. I find it interesting how we become a “sum of our experiences” in many ways. Sometimes it’s nice to marvel at successes. At other times, it’s easy to look back at frustrations or “unfinished business”.

I guess it would be safe to say that “It’s A Mental Game” became a multi-purpose deal!

Basically, the blog has created an audience. Many folks have communicated with me during treatment directly through the blog. These are the folks who understand the mechanics of setting up a Google account, which enabled them to share comments that appeared below my blog entries at times.

There are also people who have followed along without supplying any of these comments. I know they are out there because my family and friends have shared that certain people are following. I have heard from folks I've never met, who have encountered cancer in many ways. I have heard from people that live in places i have never been to.

On one hand, I am glad this blog has served so many purposes. On the other hand, I’m just unsure where to go from here.

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